Vienna

Vienna, what a city!

You have grown up. Sitting in the seat across from yours, I was hoping that you would not notice my uneasiness. I had had no idea how this trip would be like. Remember that I told you,"this is life" when we bid farewell two years ago? I had thought that we would never see each other again. We were however laughing and sharing the stories on the train to Vienna. Listening to your ambitions that I had not known, I got reacquainted with you. 

It is a city we both had never been to. I had hoped secretly that your humor could make me feel more relaxed during the trip, but that person I saw the day before worried me a bit. When we met in a small German city, you were radiant and I was shy. It was our first year abroad, when everything was new, fresh and excitiing. You had great passion. I had a dream. However, the day before in the train station, you seemed listless and I saw my reflection in your eyes. Ah, has it changed? The chicken left on top of your car by accident is still a pleasant memory to revive whenever I feel down. When the sudden rain led us to a park, you laughed. Happily, I found out that the funny boy had not been left behind. 

You said, "I have been perceived to be a huge success by people from home, yet I am doing stupid jobs to survive. I should be doing something more meaningful. But all the years, what I got was that as a foreigner, one has to work double hard to prove oneself before winning trsut from people."

"Life is never fair. This is how I see it. I was smashed into pieces at the moment I got on the plane and the life abroad is the process to put those pieces back in place. One has to try the best to put oneself together until he/she is finally one piece again." I replied.

I enjoyed the film festival in front of the city hall. It was as if I had been back to one of those night markets at home. The waves of wind brought the familair smell of grilled seafood, bringing me home to the ambitous me, the one sitting by the river with street food from a night market and talking eloquently about the unknown future.

Is this the future I once wanted? I think the past me would have slapped the current me hard if she could. Right? At least, it helped to break the vicious cycle. 

I am happy that we met.

Oh, Vienna, I'd be back again.